next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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