It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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