Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
