the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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