The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
