we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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