I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
