Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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