The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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