Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
