do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
