Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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