Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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