Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
