I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Drunk is not a location!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
