I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
