Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo

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(217): View more from Illinois

chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense

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(703): View more from Virginia

I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.

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(913): View more from Kansas

He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"

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(410): View more from Maryland

He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.

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(818): View more from California

Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."

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