so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
