My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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