i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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