That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
