Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
