Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
