I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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