two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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