So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Houston, we have a blender
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
