No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
