let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
