he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
