i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize