you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
