I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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