im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
