champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
