I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Randomize
