remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
