2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
