I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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