the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
