she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I understand Curling. That high.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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