btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
