do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
