yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Randomize
