I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize