I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
