i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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