Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
