Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
