so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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