No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
