But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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