Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
