she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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