exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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