someone get that fucking seahorse.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
