and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
