I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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