I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize