Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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