I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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