why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
