Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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