Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
